In the events leading to marriage, the parents of the couple-to-be play important roles in the lives of their children. In this tale, however, a lady is asking whether to give her father any role in her wedding. Read her story:-
‘My father abandoned my mum and us many years ago, and my mum raised my sisters and I alone. My father married another wife, had other kids and played no role in our upbringing. Now, I want to get married and out of respect, I approached him for my traditional wedding. The annoying thing is this man is demanding heaven and earth before he even gives me a list. He wants me to complete his house in the village first, saying that he cannot welcome his future in-laws in an uncompleted building. I have a very good mind of ditching him and the traditional rites. I have spoken with my fiance and his family and they said they will support whatever I decide to do. In fact, my father-in-law has been the dad I have never had since my fiance and I started our relationship 8 years ago. Is my plan alright?’
- My dear, I feel your dad is being selfish and wicked, what led to his separation from your mum in the first place? Whatever it is, whatever your mum had done to him shouldn’t make him take it out on you or your siblings. Despite his not playing any role in your lives he still has the mind to make demands and give you conditions, that’s downright wickedness.
- I advise you report him to the elders of your community, I believe they will talk sense into him. Also pray to God about it.
- Should he insist that you complete his house, you do not have to ditch the traditional rites because of him. You can approach an elderly man in your father’s family to perform the roles of a father in your traditional wedding, if you find none, an elderly man in your mother’s family will suffice. If you don’t do the traditional rites, when a problem arises in the future, though we don’t pray for that to happen, even your in-laws that have promised to support your decision will mock you, saying that the traditional rites for your wedding were not done.
Finally, if your dad remains adamant, ditch his sorry ass. An elder in your father’s family or mother’s family can take over the fatherly roles. Go ahead with your traditional wedding and have a blissful marriage.